Marriage And Relationships
Marriage and Relationships
(Divorce is not an option!)
Part I
"Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? 16 And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God." As God has said: "I will dwell in them And walk among them. I will be their God, And they shall be My people." 17 Therefore, "Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you." 18"I will be a Father to you, And you shall be My sons and daughters, Says the Lord Almighty."Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God." (II Corinthians 6:14-18)
WHO ARE YOU MARRYING?
Isn't it interesting how we (as Christians) turn to God in times of trouble, yet we turn to the "world" for guidance, knowledge, and understanding for marriage. We often speak the same language as the world does when talking about the person we are planning to marry. We talk about how much we love them and cannot wait to marry them, but how can you love them when you are already having sex with them? How can you love them when you don't have a job and don't plan to have a job because you are waiting on God to tell you what He wants you to do? What God are you waiting on? There is something definitely wrong with this picture.
Most Christian marriages look just like the marriages in the world's system. We yell and scream at each other and even curse each other. Foul language flows from our tongues followed by an apology and promise not to do it again. We smoke, drink, use drugs and hang out with our "friends" from the past. We are into pornography, have subscriptions to all the trash magazines, watch all the "adult" cable shows, and have adulterous relationships. THEN, we come to our pastors and ask for counseling because we cannot figure what is wrong with our spouse, why our marriages are not working, and even have the nerve to say, I don't think I am married to right person.
I am only pointing out a few of the problems that arise in Christian marriages, believe me, there are many many more. Usually, one or both of the spouses have already made up their minds to get a divorce. The counseling is just for cosmetic purposes, you know, to appear sincere about trying to save the marriage. In the world system, divorce is the answer, especially, after the magical 7 years of marriage has past. They even know the lastest statistics from the most noted "mind monkeys" of our day, and their only answer is to GET A DIVORCE and then try to find the right person for you.
The problems are basically all the same, for the most part, and they stem from the fact that too many Christians believe in divorce more than they believe in their marriage. It is even okay to plan for a divorce today before you get married. You can hire a lawyer, plan the divorce and sign all the legal papers before you get married. They call it a prenuptial agreement. Plan the divorce before you plan the marriage. What a great option. You marry someone that loves their possessions more than they will ever love you and they have you attest to it in writing. I know, it is just how marriages are made today in our modern mature society.
Who are you marrying? Why would you want to marry only to be divorced. It surely wasn't for the sex, you are already having that. Maybe it is just what you are supposed to do to be accepted in your church, by your family, by your peers, and even by society. If you are marrying for any of those reasons, then you are in big trouble from the start.
ARE YOU A GOOD MARRIAGE PARTNER?
The way most people enter relationships, and marriage is included, is to find someone that will give them what they are looking for. Someone that can make them happy. Someone who can be responsible for their lives and can be the blame if things do not work out. The relationship specialists of the day have figured out a system that can match you up with someone who is compatible based on a form that they filled out and that tells everything about them accept, if they are telling the truth on the form. I know, the truth is just a minor detail.
What if you were looking for someone that you could love and serve and be there for and care for and communicate with and (this is the big one) listen to? What if the focus of your life was to help someone else fulfill their dreams and desires and to put them first instead of yourself? What a concept!
God, our Father and Creator has one major desire for us and that is to be in relationship with us. He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus, just so He could be in relationship with us as He intended from the beginning. If we are truly Christians, then we have Jesus in our hearts and our one major desire is to be in relationship with God the Father, through His Son. The focus of who we are as disciples is other people. Our desire should be on what we can give into someone else's life and not on what we can take out their life.
If we take the focus off of ourselves and place it on to our spouse then divorce is not an option. We can no longer whine and cry about what they did or did not do. I know some detestable things happen within the marriage, but nothing happens that cannot be forgiven, when we truly love our spouse. Forgiveness is the work of being in a godly marriage relationship. Learning to love our spouse nconditionally, with the help of God, through His most Holy Spirit is the power, the passion, and the joy of being in a Christian marriage.
"DO NOT BE UNEQUALLY YOKED TOGETHER WITH UNBELIEVERS."
This is the foundation for a Christian marriage. It does not matter if you were not Christians when you got married. It does matter if you are married now, today, and you are Christians. It does not matter if only one of you was a Christian and the other was not, however, if you are both Christians, today, then you are now yoked to a believer and God recognizes your marriage.
Let me clearly answer the question I hear all too often from Christians. Am I married to the right person? Yes you are married to the right person if you are both Christians. There is no other person meant for you, you did not miss out, or make a mistake, and if anyone says God told them to divorce their spouse and marry someone else (both of them are Christians), they are a LIAR. God is not a liar and He cannot lie (Numbers 23:19, Titus 1:2). God does not change His mind about your marriage because you do not want to be in it any longer. That may be your choice, but it is not God's way.
Jesus did not say Moses allowed divorce because of adultery. He said because of the hardness of their hearts, Moses allowed divorce. When your heart becomes hard, then forgiveness is not a possibility and love is not possible. A person with a hard heart cannot love anyone, including the person they say, they left their spouse to be with.
"When you make a vow to God, do not delay to pay it; For He has no pleasure in fools. Pay what you have vowed - 5 Better not to vow than to vow and not pay. 6 Do not let your mouth cause your flesh to sin, nor say before the messenger of God that it was an error. Why should God be angry at your excuse and destroy the work of your hands? 7 For in the multitude of dreams and many words there is also vanity. But fear God." (Ecclessiastes 4:8)
When two Christians say their vows in marriage, they vow first to each other and secondly to God. (I Corinthians 15:46-48) When we break our vow to each by divorcing, we also break our vow to God. We have then lied to our spouse and to God. Lying is a sin, breaking our vow is a sin and all sin must be repented of. If you have gone through a divorce, then repent to the Lord for breaking your vow to Him and your spouse. Do not live in condemnation and do not try to FIX anything, especially, if your former spouse has remarried.
God's warning to us in the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke on divorce is to make us aware of the need to repent. There is no sin that God does not forgive, when we are still in Christ Jesus, and we repent. Divorcees are not outcasts and unforgiven backsliders. They are welcome in God's House and in His family, the Body of Christ. Don't let anyone tell you that God has turned His back on you or doesn't love you because of a divorce. God loved us before we were saved and He certainly loves after we are saved.
Marriage is a holy sacrament and a covenant with God. All we have to do is obey God's Word on marriage. God's plan for marriage is found in Ephesians 5:22 to 6:4. His number one rule for a successful marriage relationship is this, "husband love your wife" as Jesus loved the Church. I know, many people think it is "wife submit to your husband," but that is not so. A wife's submission is a result of the love, the unconditional love a husband has for his wife. Husbands, do not let a day go by that you let your wife out love you.
God has a good plan for us as Christians. If we will begin to live in our marriages as God has planned, then the world will want what we have in our marriages. Stop imitating the world and let the world imitate us in our Godly marriage.
Praise the Lord!
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